Dear Family,
I have compiled/written many talks and lessons through the years. This kind of feels like doing that. So, if I would spend countless hours and sleepless nights preparing to teach and share with ward members, I should be very happy to share similar thoughts and ideas with my most prized possessions, (YOU). You all are indeed my most prized possessions. I have been trying to faithfully keep a journal of just my daily thoughts, events, comings and goings since January 1. You might ask how is that going. Mostly OK I would say. I have missed a few days, and when I do miss I find myself less connected to myself and my real purpose. I have a burning within to not only keep a current journal, but to also work diligently on my own personal history and Garth's. Reporting every three months in this blog will keep me faithful in these pursuits.
Just to let each of you know, Andrea, Weston and Bjorn moved in with us for a few months. I am excited they are here. I am really looking forward to hearing newborn baby noise, cuddling and helping his family. I love babies.
A couple of weeks ago, Ryan and I were sending texts back and forth for a little bit. Ryan had prepared for a lesson for priesthood from a talk given by Pres. Hinckley given in 1984 to the women in the church titled “If Thou Art Faithful”. He shared the following with me:
The Lord continued, “I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better”(D&C 25: 10).
I feel he was not telling Emma that she should not feel concerned about a place to live, food on her table, and clothing. He was saying to her that she should not be obsessed with these things, as so many of us are wont to be. He was telling her to get her thoughts on the higher things of life, the things of righteousness and goodness, matters of charity and love for others, the things of eternity….
Continuing, the Lord said: “Wherefore, lift up thy heart and rejoice, and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made” (D&C 25:13).
I believe he is saying to each of us, be happy. The gospel is a thing of joy. It provides us with a reason for gladness. Of course there are times of sorrow. Of course there are hours of concern and anxiety. We all worry. But the Lord has told us to lift our hearts and rejoice.
Ryan continued with this, "In my mind, I thought that you may have heard or read these words while struggling with Dad’s illness. I am so grateful that you stayed close to the Lord and that you always put us first. I know many times you may have thought you needed to work or be elsewhere."
I then went on to say that I had a journal entry from 1990 that was directly in this same direction.
I had been really struggling as to how I would be able to make the finances stay in the black each month and still provide the emotional and physical support needed for each of my dear children. I had been seriously contemplating of working outside the home.
The journal entry read:
August 25, 1990. I have been praying continually about how I can make ends meet. It seems the money never stretches far enough, and the demands continue to increase. Every time I turn around someone needs new shoes, money for a school activity, or some appliance or car needs repair. I will need to continue to search for an answer. But, for now, I am tired. I will sleep.
August 28, 1990. Our dear high priest leader, Jay Gamette called me and asked if he could come talk to me about something. Of course I said yes, but I am mighty curious. He is coming tomorrow night.
August, 29, 1990. Brother Gamette came by tonight. He told me that he had heard that I was thinking about going to work outside the home. He was very concerned about that, and asked me if I would pray with him for a few days and then meet at church this coming Sunday for a few minutes.
Sunday, September 2, 1990. Brother Gamette found me at church and handed me a paper with a list of scriptures he wanted me to read and prayerfully study. He then said he would call me in a few days to regroup. Here is the list of the scriptures he wanted me to read: Deut. 14:29, Isaiah 1:17, James 1:27, 2 Nephi 19:17, D&C 83:6, 123: 9.
Brother Gamette counseled that my job (meaning me) is to care for my children. Only I can do that. Many others (referring to the priesthood in the ward) can fill the holes for finances and it also gives them the chance to serve and care for others. It is hard, but also comforting to know that the brethren in our ward is mindful of mine and my family’s ongoing needs.
Tuesday, September 3, 1990. Brother Gamette called again. He is not letting any moss grow under my feet on this subject. He wanted to come by again to see what I was feeling after reading the suggested scriptures. I told him I still hadn’t finished them, but would after the younger kids were in bed. So I am doing that right now….
I read the suggested scriptures and will pray about them.
Wednesday, September 4, 1990. All day as I have gone about the tasks of daily living I have had in the back of my mind the question and concerns about finding a job or letting the brethren in the ward help. Heavenly Father, please help me understand Thy will.
Sunday, September 8, 1990. During Sacrament today, and all during the rest of the meeting, all I wanted to do was cry. The spirit was really strong and my mind knew how much the Lord was aware of me and my family. I will humble myself and let the ward help with the boys' mission costs and other needs. I now need to make sure I do as much as I can to keep costs down and physically, mentally and spiritually care for my family. Thankful for a loving Heavenly Father.
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So, to all of you out there in Mather Kingdom, if you remember the Deseret Food labels, and such, it was truly a gift from a loving Heavenly Father, who knew you needed your mother at home full time. I am so grateful He allowed me to be your mother. I love each of you so much and am grateful daily for the lessons learned and that we have the blessing and knowledge that Families are Forever. I am also grateful for the organizations in the church. The priesthood is a direct link to a loving Heavenly Father that allows Him to have a direct influence in each of our lives. I am grateful for priesthood men who stay close to the Lord and try to follow his council.
The acquiring of earthly possessions is secondary to acquiring a place in the celestial kingdom with “No Empty Chairs”.
Love each of you so very much. I am looking forward to conference this weekend. I love hearing the council from our leaders and feeling the spirit that accompanies each speaker.
Love, Mom (Grandma Sharee)
*Here is a footnote to all of you. I strongly council each of you to up your journal entries. As I have read my own entries so find the ones used above, I have had so many memories flood my mind. I am sad that I didn't record more and hope that as I write my history I will be able to recover as much as possible to do justice to each of you.
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